The OCP Blog
Proverbs for the Next Kitchen Coordinator
A tongue-in-cheek blog post by Randi B. Hagi
- The walk-in cooler and freezer are not your friends. They may seem like your friends, but do your friends make you regularly clean their rooms just to bring in more boxes and trash it again the next day? Didn’t think so.
- Corollary: 500 pound donations of anything (peaches, ground pork, potato bun dough) are great until you have to store them.
- A blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. (credit: Gary Falls)
- Despite what others may believe, you can only pay attention to one person talking to you at a time.
- No, the oven isn’t supposed to do that. Yes, we use it anyways.
- Restaurant experience may or may not qualify you to act as a relationship counselor, case manager, and mediator.
- In lieu of health insurance, boiling hot sauce makes a great respiratory cleanse.
- Several people have food allergies until you cook something forbidden that they like, and then only a few people have food allergies.
- Volunteers + kitchen knives = I hope you know basic first aid.
- Mama told me there’d be days like this, but she forgot to tell me how many. (credit: Gary Falls)
- If you are female, any nearby male will ask you if you’re sure you can carry __________ (insert any item over 10 pounds).
- Actually, a combination of wartime combat, public school teaching, and graphic design experience would really come in handy for this job.
- Despite the comedic and tragic frustrations of the job, prepare for your heart to be stolen by some of the funniest, hardest working, selfless, cheerful, resourceful, and down to earth folks you’ve ever met. I mean, they might drive you up the wall, too, but what else are families for?
Randi B. Hagi (See y’all in July for Night Out! 🙂 )
Lame-Duck Kitchen Coordinator